one week later...

so yesterday was the first day since june 4 that I didn't take anti-malaria meds with breakfast, meaning it's been over a week since we've been home. not that i like taking meds, but it was a little depressing, realizing that we've been home for that long.
it's still somewhat surreal, being back. interesting to see all the things that are so different here versus there. I tend to be a person who adapts to new situations and places fairly easily, and the adjustment back hasn't been too rough. my digestive system is finally back to normal(ish), and i remember how to drive a car, which is good. one of the rougher things has been being confronted with the American consumer mindset of new, bigger, better, gotta-have-it.

I went to Giant Eagle last Tuesday, the day after we got back, and just sort of walked around a little bit in a daze. there are so many options, yet so many of them are so processed and unhealthy. pretty much the only thing that looked appetizing at all was the produce section. I just wanted a salad and some fresh fruit that wasn't watermelon. my stomach and digestive system is now pretty much recovered, but the first few days back was a little rough, after not eating much at all the last week we were in Haiti. it was really interesting, because I'm normally a person who craves cookies, but all i wanted when we got back was a fresh salad, an apple, and some salami and cheese on crackers. (all of which i had, over the course of a few days :)


the Giant Eagle trip last week was followed by Target on Wednesday, Verizon on Thursday, and IKEA this past Monday... all adventures in trying to deny the consumer mindset of new, bigger, better, gotta-have-it. Verizon worked out okay.... IKEA, not quite as much. Dangers of moving into a new apartment in a few weeks... but i digress.

I know I'll go back to Haiti soon, most likely for a couple weeks in December, and that somehow makes the adjustment back a little easier. By the time we left, reality really had shifted. Life there was in many ways how life should be. Working hard on very purposeful things, priority of caring for people and enjoying fellowship with each other. Being content with what you had, right there, right then, rather than constantly being confronted with the zillion things that you have been living fine without, but of course desperately need.

Not that life in Haiti is all sunshine and roses and perfect and wonderful. I'm not painting the picture that it was just a nice beach vacation, as though we just went and hung out in Florida for a couple weeks. There is still widespread destruction, people living under tarps, trash everywhere you look, and more severe poverty than you can imagine. As someone on the other team put it, in most other countries, there are definitely slum areas, where things are bad, but eventually you'd travel out of the slums and into a better area. But in Haiti, pretty much all of it is that slum area.There aren't any 'nice areas of town'.

And yet, in the midst of all of that, of so many things that aren't how they're supposed to be, there is still hope and joy. People still come to church and sing praises at the top of their voices. I woke up one day last week with a Creole worship song in my head, and it made me smile, thinking of worship in Haiti. it's somehow comforting too, knowing that I'm not the only one who sees all the brokenness in Haiti, all the things that aren't how they're supposed to be. all the things that are destroyed and dirty and messed up and corrupted. Because as much as it makes my heart ache, God sees Haiti and His heart breaks 10,000 times more than mine. Haiti doesn't just need a human-sized solution - this is bigger than that. and while that can definitely make us feel small and insignificant and overwhelmed and incapable of making any change, God has still chosen us to be His agents of restoration. We are still called to bring Him into those dark places, knowing that through Him, we are empowered to move things in a forward direction, even if we'll never fully fix all the problems of this world, because it is still a broken and imperfect place.

Lots of other thoughts swirling around, especially after talking with Lauren, Kelley, and Rachel Hurst last night... I'll post more as I continue to process through things.

Love you friends.

To Him be the Glory.