21 August 2011

thoughts from the last few days, in no particular order:

this trip has been great for a few reasons. i feel like i've been able to be a little more independent, mainly in small ways, like driving travis' truck to the hardware store to pick up more nails or paint for a project, or being able to communicate [somewhat] better with people. just little things that make me feel much more efficient and useful here, rather than waiting on someone else to go to the store and get supplies for me, or waiting for a driver to come get us, or whatever the case may be. don't get me wrong, it's wonderful how everyone at mission of hope takes great care of us, and i absolutely love that. however, it's nice to feel 'familiar' here [as kelley put it], and to feel like i can help get things done without being as reliant on other people or circumstances. obviously, i'm still very reliant on others in some ways, because that's how the body of Christ is designed to work, but it's nice to see how i can function well here in this capacity, how i do feel like i'm fitting a role and a need and it's working well.

on the other side, it's also been really good to be reminded of how life can be simple and laid back. our American mindset so often is "i have to get these 23 things done in the next 10 minutes", rather than "we're going to do this, then after that, we'll do whatever the next thing is." things get done when they get done, and while sometimes that requires a little more patience, in the end it is good. i have a tendency [subconsciously or otherwise] to value productivity above other much more important things, such as relationships with people or even my walk with Christ. without even realizing it sometimes, i slide into the mindset of measuring my current state of satisfaction by my level of productivity, by tangible ways i can see things moving forward in one way or another. however, it is most often the intangible things that we as Christ followers should value above everything else, whether that's spending time resting in the Lord, or having a conversation with the village kids at the gate, or listening to someone share about their life experiences. these empirically immeasurable things are what will impact our lives the most in the end, not whether or not we finished painting a wall or hanging a door, or whatever other project we happened to be doing that day. don't get me wrong, i love seeing the progress of projects being finished and necessary things being built or improved upon, and the impact that those projects can have on people's lives. however, as kelley said this week, i'm going to choose to love the child more than the building.

to Him be the Glory.